Spirit Journal

Messages sent, questions answered

Purging for Change

May 22, 2018

The decision for growth and change doesn’t come lightly to the soul. The journey may begin or end with a conscious thought: a desire to have something new or release something old, but the journey to the readiness for that new chapter comes from the soul’s work.

We come into this world with a mission: what we want to learn, what we want to overcome, how we want to be better, what we want to experience. All to the service of the soul’s growth, healing, and expansion. So, the soul is in charge of when it is ready for such changes.

The signals to the conscious brain also serve that purpose. The awareness of the desire for something new or different lets the person in on what he’s being opened up to by his own soul. The mind finds itself more and more drawn to that new reality, either by the positive experience of imagining it, or by the negative experience of living in a reality that is not that. Either way, it is motivation that is meant to help release the ties to the old reality, so that the new one may emerge.

The subconscious mind holds on to what it knows as reality. It doesn’t differentiate between good or bad, it only knows familiar. Its mission is to keep you safe, and the familiar is something it knows how to navigate, without consideration of whether or not this reality is desirable. But for the soul, it also serves the purpose of keeping you in a situation that it needs to understand or learn something from, until it is ready to move on. When it decides it has received what it needed from the situation, the conscious mind is alerted that this is no longer needed or wanted, and the desire for change becomes apparent, even glaring.

But that is the beginning of the change, not the change itself. The subconscious mind still needs to be convinced that this is not dangerous for you, and that it’s OK to allow you to venture into it. Usually, this is something that takes time. It works in baby steps. Fortunately for us, most of the steps happen before we’re aware how much we want the new life, or new aspect of it. Our demand for the new situation is a tool; it helps fuel the releasing of the old paradigm, so the new one will not be blocked.

Once there is a conscious decision for the change, there is a purge. How long this takes depends on the depth of the connection to the old life, the commitment to the old belief system, and whatever fears may be connected to allowing the new one to take over. Often, this purge presents as emotional, but you can also see it happening through physical means, like illness, or outbreaks. More often, though, it comes through the emotional state, and can feel like bouts of depression, weepiness for no apparent reason, perhaps frustration. It can be unnerving, because it can be hard to identify why you’re feeling that way. In purging situations, you will usually only feel like that for a day or so. It needs to be just long enough to be able to take out some of the trash, but not so long that you feel like you’re living in it.

The good news is that the day or two you are feeling this low is often followed by a feeling of a sense of peace, even elation. And you won’t be consciously aware of it, but it is a sign that you have gotten rid of something that no longer serves you, or holds you back from the better outcome.

In the next post, we’ll talk about what you can do next to help the process along and to not be overcome by the purging process.

Opening Up to a New Reality

May 15, 2018

I want to use this inaugural entry to talk to you about my intentions for this blog.  I have spent many years talking to Spirit for myself and my clients, and often wonderful messages come through, that I know would interest and help people outside of the people they are saying it to, at the time.  And knowing Spirit's penchant for holistic approaches, I have no doubt that is part of the plan. 

And I've found, in many beautiful moments, sometimes you hear exactly what you need to hear, exactly when you need to hear it.  I would like this to be a source of such moments for others, too.

We'll start with this one:

Know that you are safe in this world. You will not be harmed. Know that everything you want for yourself, you are projecting out to the universe, even if that want is pain and lack. Know that you are universal infinite energy and that universal infinite energy cannot be hurt or destroyed, and then ask again for what you want. You will do so then, with an open, relaxed, loving heart, and will never again ask for pain, or worry, or loneliness. You are loved. Let yourself be loved.


Fully grasping this message can be challenging, because the brain has a "yeah, but..." for everything.  But allowing yourself to believe it can yield very quick results.  When you've shown your brain enough times that you choose to believe this, it will get on board with you, and the shift can feel miraculous.

But it isn't miraculous.  It's just different than what you have come to know as your reality.  This is something we will talk about more in future posts.

Construction or Destruction

July 18, 2018

I asked my guides once, how, in all our human messiness, we manage not to mess up the path we’re meant to be on. If we have free will, and for the most part are unaware of the path set in front of us, how do we manage to not go off that path, completely?

Their answer was this: for all the decisions you make all day, every day, you’re really only choosing between two outcomes: Construction and Destruction. A positive move forward, or a step back. Not a devastating move back, not a move back that ruins your path. Just a step back. Possibly to reassess, possibly to remind yourself that you are ready, and sometimes not ready, for positive moves forward – almost all of it subconscious, as the decisions usually happen very quickly.

The good news, they said, is that they have a contingency plan for whatever choice we do make. And actually, they’re pretty sure of the move we’re going to make, ahead of the decision, because they know us. They know where we stand with ourselves, our lives, our sense of security or fear, and it’s all OK. We’re never in the wrong place, we’re just where we are, where we’re ready to be. And when we’re ready to not be there anymore, to make those positive constructive steps forward, no matter how small or momentous, we’ll feel it, and we’ll stop choosing destruction.

In the meantime, their promise to us is that they will continue to show us the constructive options, and when we’re ready to go that way, we will, and we won’t look back, because the feeling of staying in our old position, our old mindset, world view, relationship, or treatment of ourselves, will be more uncomfortable than the thought of moving forward. The discomfort will outweigh the fear, and the constructive choice will become the new obvious one.

In the meantime, don’t beat yourself up about where you are on your path. There is no “there” you are trying to get to. The more you achieve, the more you will want to achieve, and your world, and your options will continue to expand. Ever more adventures to enjoy. And don’t think they are judging you, either. Think of them as loving parents, teaching their child to ride a bike. They don’t judge the child for not being able to ride it yet, they stand by patiently as the child throws a tantrum out of frustration with the process, or even refuses the experience altogether, out of fear. 

 Because they know eventually he’s going to want to ride that bike more than anything, and they’ll get to be there to see his joy, his pride in himself. His newfound freedom, and his abandonment of the fear that preceded it.  

Side Effects of Transition

July 19, 2018

We’re in a powerful time for transitions right now, and a lot of my clients seem to be experiencing one, so I wanted to talk to you all about them, in case you’re feeling it, too.

The manifestation of a new chapter can happen very quickly, in fact that is one of the hallmarks of how they work. Simply put, the change comes fast, and the new situation is perfect for you, even though, strangely, it’s a solution or opportunity you never could have known to seek out on purpose. It just arrives.

But that’s the manifestation of it. What happens leading up to it, is a different and sometimes painful story.

The new beginning you are traveling toward is a rebirth. You find yourself in a new place or situation, because you are no longer the person you were in your old one. You no longer have the need for the old ideas, expectations and mindsets that you had then; you’ve moved on. But that moving on doesn’t happen overnight. Every birth has a gestation period, and in this one, it is very common to experience emotional difficulties like depression, a feeling of being lost or isolated, and feeling misunderstood or invisible.

You may also notice changes in your friendships: people dropping out of your life, or a feeling from you that you no longer have much in common with people you may have known and been close to for years. Although something I see happen frequently when the new chapter is about to begin, is that people from your past resurface. Usually just for a moment, but it seems very common for this to occur.

But for today, I just want to focus on the emotional side effects of the transition, or what I call, the purge. The reason you feel this way is as practical as it is energetic and spiritual: your soul has decided it is ready for a new life for you, whether that means a new job, a new city, or just new circumstances in your life. So, it has to let go of everything it believed before, because those beliefs built that life, and it’s ready to move on from it. In order to fulfill the new one, it has to do an inventory of what’s going on inside you, and what can stay and what needs to go. A spiritual spring cleaning. In my experience (and I’ve experienced a lot of it), the most difficult days, or episodes, only last a day or two at a time, but they can occur over several months, or however long your soul needs.

It’s something you unfortunately just have to allow to happen. It’s not something you can hurry, but you also won’t mess it up. Your soul knows what it’s doing. And as miserable as it feels while it’s happening, the other side of it can feel like elation. Not just relief that that period is over, but being aware that you feel different – better – than you did before the episode. And if you’re paying attention to yourself, you’ll be aware that there are certain things you’re experiencing that are easier now than they may have ever been, before. It may be something as simple as saying no to something or someone, when before that may have felt excruciating for you to do. Or it may be finding the courage to go after something for yourself that before this, you may have completely dismissed as an option before you had a chance to even consider it.

The important thing to keep in mind is that you’re doing this to (but actually, for) yourself. Something in your old life was no longer tolerable, and a voice inside you said, “No, this is no longer acceptable. I’m ready for better.” And when your soul feels that, and really means it, the process begins. You have learned or accomplished whatever you needed to in that chapter, so you can move on. It might take a while to feel it, but it is actually cause for celebration.

When you’re in the midst of an episode during your transition, it can be difficult to be in the moment and work with it the way you would like to. Your brain is looking for a reason why it feels the way it does, and will reach for anything as an answer, and try to convince you that’s what’s going on, which is why for those who suffer depression during that time, it can be confusing.

But if you can be mindful of it when these days come up for you, try at least to remember self-care. This will pass. The kinder you can be to yourself while it’s happening, the more smoothly it will go, and the more aware you will be of the rainbow after the storm.

Pets and Karma

July 23, 2018

A client recently called, asking about her beloved dog, who is older and suffering with dementia. She wanted to know what all parents of ailing fur babies want to know: Is she hurting, is she about to leave me, am I doing everything I can, does she know I love her?

The answer was that she is not about to leave, and not physically suffering, just feeling confused sometimes. But then, as there often is, because of the innate generosity of pets, there was more information. It was shared with us that it was no accident or misfortune that she had this disease in this life. It had been a choice. She knew that in future lives she wanted to be of comfort to people who would have dementia of some kind, so she wanted to have the experience herself, so that she could not only love her owner through their suffering, but that she could understand it. Her soul would have a memory of that experience and it would make her better equipped to offer the best support and comfort.

This information coming through led us to another question: are pets always pets, or are they sometimes human? What we learned was that yes, sometimes they do choose to be human, but they often go back to being pets, because they are such highly evolved entities that their main mission here is what hopefully we are all aspiring to: the love and support of each other, seeing through the pain and fear that often guards us from allowing that love. So, when pets choose human form, it is for the purposes of further understanding us, especially if the missions they know they want to take on later, will be more challenging situations, or with more difficult people.

I have brought through many pets who have passed on, and the common thread is that they are so grateful for our love, and hate to see us in pain, especially pain brought on by a feeling of guilt. In their eyes, our love allowed them another experience to learn, and another person to share their extraordinary love with. Even when the pet seems to have behavioral or mood issues, that’s for us: a chance for learning and understanding that our soul requested.

Losing a pet is always hard, not just because we love them, but because of what that love brings out in us. Sometimes he or she is the only part of our lives where we don’t have to be guarded, or wear some kind of mask just to feel OK in the world. And that lack of guardedness allows love to flow freely, which allows us to be fully ourselves and to really connect with someone, without the fear of it backfiring or at some point, abandoning or humiliating us. All ego is removed, and there is only love left, and that is a little bit of heaven on earth for us. We recognize everything they are to us, so we feel like it must somehow be our fault when that time ends.

But we have no control there. As unpredictable as their entry into our lives is, so is their departure. But it perfectly timed, and exactly what we needed, exactly when we needed it.

And we were exactly what they needed, too.

Clairvoyance: the Future and the Now

August 7, 2018

I am currently creating a course to help people find or advance their own natural psychic skills, and I will be posting some exercises on the site soon, but I wanted to start with talking about how to approach it, as well as the importance of surrendering the self-judgment that often accompanies the practice:

Most people, especially those interested in metaphysics, know that “clairvoyant” means “clear seeing.” This is usually assumed just to mean clearly seeing the future, but it’s more than that. It’s about more clearly seeing the now, as well: seeing, and better understanding, what’s happening around you in the moment, seeing someone’s motives or real nature, so you can decide what’s best for you, in that situation.  Even, and probably most importantly, seeing yourself clearly, so you can decide what’s working for you, and what you would like to change.

In using your clairvoyance, you will find that you get the best results when you abandon all judgment around it. The brain always wants to know what it is seeing, so it can define it, and therefore not leave you in what it considers the dangerous position of unknowing. So, it will look for answers, and then try to justify what it decides. It does it out of the need to protect you, but when you are trying to learn to think and see on a different level, it can jump to conclusions that end up being wrong. So, when you are working on improving your skills, the first and best step, is to stop thinking.

The lack of self-judgment when you are honing and then using your skills is an important part of getting in the flow of receiving information. You will misinterpret what you receive sometimes. Just know that. Even after years of successful readings, sometimes you will misinterpret what you’re receiving. But you will still get the best results if you just let it flow. Misinterpreting is not the same as being wrong. You received the information correctly, you were just off a bit, with what you did with it.

But if you are judging what’s coming in, in the fear of misinterpreting, you will block it coming in at all.

You are a being in the physical and spiritual worlds, natural to both, and when you are doing this work, you are bridging the two. So, what you are working on is learning the difference in the feel of the communication. But know that it is natural to you, and that letting it flow and then figuring it out, is the clearest way to the skills you’re seeking.

Self Love

August 8, 2018

Even before the onslaught of social media, the human tendency was to seek out approval from others, validation even from strangers, before we would ever consider our own opinions of ourselves worthy.

But now, with so much pressure to make ourselves and our lives look important, desirable, interesting, loved and lovable, we not only have to be liked, we have to be “liked.” Even if you’re only a casual user of social media platforms, the pressure to be seen and validated is not only prevalent, it’s pressured, overtly or otherwise, by the platforms themselves.

So, in this time of great transformation for so many of us, it’s time to go inward, to re-introduce ourselves to our true voices, and the concept of Self Love.

The irony of being so pressured to put on such a great face to the world through these means, is that we are still called selfish, or fear being called such, if we are actually engaging in self-care.

When I have worked with clients on this issue, especially if they were in a situation where they weren’t being treated very well, I would ask them, “if your best friend was dealing with this kind of disrespect, what would you tell them? You’d tell them they are worth more, that you can’t stand to see them being treated this way, and you’d beg them to get out of it, wouldn’t you?” Of course, the answer was always yes. But turning that love inward was so much more difficult for them, as it often is for many people. Mainly because, when we got to the heart of the issue, there was a feeling of that self-prioritizing being selfish, and that we often still want the person who is hurting us, to still care about us, so we sacrifice our own basic needs.

But the conflict for us comes in when we start to think about the things we would like to have in our lives, whether it’s a fulfilling job, a loving partnership, or enough money to pursue our lives the way we’d love to. What we want for ourselves is often too much at odds with the way that we speak to ourselves.

What we tell ourselves is usually learned behavior. We’re not born thinking it’s selfish to want an amazing life here; we’re born remembering that that’s what this experience is supposed to be. But then we’re born and we’re met with the gravity of humanity. Not just the gravitational pull that keeps us on the ground, literally, but the one that keeps us from the permission to soar, otherwise: the voices around us. In order to not upset them, or risk ostracizing ourselves, we learn to ignore the voice inside.

But it has always stayed with us, and we always hear it, even if we choose not to heed it. But many of you may have noticed, especially in the last few months, that it is growing louder and more demanding. You may be feeling rebellious, sick of the status quo and just wanting to say no, a lot more than you used to. It’s not an angry feeling, necessarily, but it is a liberating one.

If you’re feeling this way, and want to work with the next step, try this exercise:

Close your eyes and take a deep breath, then start listing to yourself the things you love about you. They don’t have to be big things. It could be something like, “I love that dogs like me. I like what that seems to say about me,” or, “I love that I love music. I love what joy I have allowed into my life because of it.” But be sure to include things about you that are complimentary: I love that I’m smart; I love that I’m a great listener; I love that I make my friends laugh.

As you do this exercise, you’ll notice that your energy changes. You will feel lighter, and probably happier. When you have at least ten things on your list, switch your thoughts to intentions, using the phrase, “I love myself enough to/for…”

“I love myself enough to have friends and/or a partner who is loving to me;” “I love myself enough to have the career I want;” “I love myself enough to keep going to the gym.”

Tailor the list to your specific desires, and you might be surprised at what starts coming out of that voice that has for so long been hushed. If you take it to heart, you will feel an immediate change in your vibration, and then things around you will start to change. And now, when you hear that inner voice, follow it.

Am I Loved?

May 26, 2019

The way we see ourselves in the world, our sense of security, our relationships with ourselves and those we share space with, whether they are strangers or closer to us; our sense of belonging and deserving, and what we think we can reasonably expect of our lives, comes down to one question we ask ourselves in the deepest part of us, usually completely unknown to our conscious thought. A simple question that splinters into everything that makes us complex and informs our entire worldview:

Am I loved?

It’s a question our soul seems to know to ask, because it gives our brain the answer very early in life. In our first five years, our brain is figuring out the definition of us. Its whole job is to protect us, so it needs to know early where the pitfalls are, what to look out for, who is OK to trust and who isn’t, and most importantly, how we fit into this world.

Once it has formed a primary idea of the answer, our worldview and that of ourselves forms around it, and we not only see the world and our place in it through that lens, we continuously manifest from it, perpetuating that ideology and cementing it as our definition, not only in our brains, but in our souls. The symbiotic relationship between our soul journey and our brain function creates a reality that can paint the picture of our memories, making them even a polar opposite of siblings who were with us through all of those experiences, but because of the way their definitions were formed, have a completely different memory.

Whether you interpret your experiences as meaning that you are or are not loved, you will see yourself proven right in the experiences that follow. You will feel included, or not. You will feel deserving, or not. You will feel like you have the right to what you want and that you can speak up for yourself, or you won’t. And you will assume how others see you, whether or not it’s actually their perspective.

The good news – presuming you need there to be some good news – is that it is not carved in stone. There is a third component that gives us the option every day to rewrite that definition: our conscious mind – the bridge between the autonomy of the brain function and the subconscious nature of the soul.

When you have some grasp of what your soul and brain have been talking about behind your back, you can learn to set the record straight, and start to redesign what you choose to be the truth about you. It takes consistent, conscious decisions and self-training, but the results – even though in baby steps – can be immediate. I will write more in a later post about how to start your new path.

But it all begins with one statement, one you choose to confirm to yourself every day: Yes, I AM loved.